I knew that this day would come. Maybe this is how it happens. The oblivious you run straight into it – this phase of life. I reflected on many things, after I was hit hard by the realization. And the trigger for all these realizations was the fact that I now have a preference for a shampoo. I was astounded.
I was the guy who can’t tell a conditioner from a shampoo, who have even applied baby shampoo a couple of times. We even had conversations like,
: My hair feels different today!
: What did you apply?
: Shampoo! (Duh!)
: Which bottle? Show me.
: There..that one.
: That’s a conditioner! or That’s the baby’s! Can’t you read labels?!
From there it became: “Hey! I think we should get the other shampoo. I don’t like it that much. The previous one was better.”
That’s a significant change, you see.
These are just symptoms. So I went back and back and back to do a root-cause analysis. It took me all the way back to the morning a couple of years ago when I was wearing a Jimi Hendrix T-shirt at home that read “Wild thing.” And this friend, who had stayed over after a house party, quipped – it should now read “Domesticated thing.” I think that’s the starting. The root-cause. I was in denial.
The change had started a few years ago. At least 3 years, I guess. Otherwise why on earth would I ever quit smoking?! My friends still don’t believe me when I say that I haven’t been smoking for 3 years. I don’t blame them. I used to joke – when I die, I should still have a packet of cigarettes under my pillow. Good old days! I was even thinking to quit alcohol this year. The missus went berserk- are you crazy! You are already boring enough. That’s the only thing that remains of the old person that you were.
No, she did not exactly said those words; but when I told her my intentions, she bought me a good drink instead. Some things are conveyed beyond words.
While all these things were happening with and around me, I was still searching within. Probing. Then I told myself one plausible cause of all this – I am now a father. We are now parents. We must get our
shit stuff together. Was that a good euphemism? Damn it.