Monthly Archives: April 2015

Men are not spineless

In a revolutionary revelation, a man from Delhi has been diagnosed to have a spine. Varun Sharma, name changed to protect identity, complained of pain in his back earlier last month, and initial investigation has showed evidence of a spine, reports said.

Varun, a Software Engineer, lives with his wife in the Vasant Kunj area of Delhi. When Varun experienced back pain last month, he started doing Babaji yoga and took medicine fromĀ  Babanjali Ayurved, as per his wife’s advice. When the pain worsened and Varun could no longer perform his daily chores at home and was unable to sit in the day-long office meetings, Varun approached a local physician. “Varun is a strong man. He often comes here with his wife. She tends to get cold very easily, and every time she does, she and Varun comes here for treatment. This time, however, Varun complained of back pain. I prescribed him some strong analgesics, but he is already resistant to the medicines and showed no relief. I then referred him to a Hospital, where they scanned each bone and each muscle of Varun’s body, head to toe. The reports were shocking. We think he has a spine.” Dr. Sharma, the local physician, said.

In an exclusive interview with us, Dr. Swami, the famous historian and researcher, spoke regarding this significant incident in the human history. “Back in the days, we men had spines. We could do whatever we wanted to. We had our choices too. We had our sports, we had our drinks, we had our friends. But since the urbanization happened and people went crazy about these vague and Vouge ideas, men were domesticated. Men were seen doing dishes, carrying babies in carriers and strollers, wearing colorful pants, watching dialy soaps, riding gear-less scooterettes, and drinking mocktails in restaurants. Men had no voice, neither at home, nor in office. Then it was just a matter of time and cruelty of evolution that men had to part with their spine. It’s simple, just like how men lost its tail.”, Dr. Swami said.

We tried to contact both Mr. Varun and his wife, but neither of them has answered our calls till now. Our sources say that Varun has already been approached by the debate channel GoswamiNow for a panel discussion titled “Women under attack”. When we contacted Mr. Goswami for a confirmation, Goswami said he is still busy collecting data for each Cricket match that India has ever lost, and he cannot confirm when this debate will be aired. “I’ll first have to teach him the rules of my show. Nobody can just walk in and talk here.” Mr. Goswami said.

After the news spread, Delhi witnessed tussles between two fractions of Aam Arvind party and Saccharine Party of India, both claiming credits for the story. In the meantime, the Prime Minister has appealed to maintain peace and order in the city. “This is a significant news under the able leadership of our Honorable Prime Minister. We congratulate the people of Delhi and the entire India, up to Kolkata, on this occasion. Lord Ram has opened his eyes for us.”, A senior leader of the ruling party said in his Facebook post.

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