Killing yourself to live

Last night I slept bad, and woke up to a gloomy, depressing, winter morning. I was, of course, not feeling good about anything. But again, staying back at home makes no sense. The more time I spend with myself, the more depressing it gets. And we are machines after all. Routine. I dragged myself to the bathroom.

After I reached office, however, there were something that made me happy. The sun also came up. I felt good. I got all geared up for another long, busy day. No, I am not complaining. I am away from any satire or sarcasm today.

Then all of a sudden I came to know about someone I know of, trying to kill herself. Not that I have not seen people trying to kill themselves, or actually killing themselves. I have seen them. Not one, not two. Much more than that. I was a believer too. Believer of the thought – don’t like it? Is it taking too much? End it! Why suffer?

But then I grew up a little more. And when you do, things change. Perspectives change. Thoughts change. Then I started hating the very idea of killing oneself. That is, suicide. Now it disturbs me beyond limits. Though I am still in favor of euthanasia. Kind of.

Talking about suicides, who am I to write things off like this? Of course, unless it is a college kid who popped too many pills last night, or slit his or her wrist because someone rejected their “love”. No. That kid should be bitch slapped and taught what life is. That can never be acceptable. But then, when one person, one grown up person decides to end this life? Under what circumstances a man can kill his infant, his wife, and himself? Under what circumstances a mother can kill her children? Under what circumstances a well-employed person decides to throw himself off the roof? Life is strange. Some questions can never be answered.

The only point I am trying to  make is to hold on. What I learnt is, life is too big to end like this. Life is like a giant ball with happiness and sorrow painted on its two halves. We need both the halves to make it complete. And the ball keeps rolling all the time. But we, somehow, can control the speed of the ball at which it rotates. When we have the sorrow side, let’s take some effort and make it roll to the other side. I know, I am blabbering too much. I am just trying to say this simple thing – let’s live.

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4 thoughts on “Killing yourself to live

  1. Kd

    I always have believed that simple words grace the most thoughtful emotions. Your post made me believe so. It is really well written.

    Reply

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