Monthly Archives: January 2012

Killing yourself to live

Last night I slept bad, and woke up to a gloomy, depressing, winter morning. I was, of course, not feeling good about anything. But again, staying back at home makes no sense. The more time I spend with myself, the more depressing it gets. And we are machines after all. Routine. I dragged myself to the bathroom.

After I reached office, however, there were something that made me happy. The sun also came up. I felt good. I got all geared up for another long, busy day. No, I am not complaining. I am away from any satire or sarcasm today.

Then all of a sudden I came to know about someone I know of, trying to kill herself. Not that I have not seen people trying to kill themselves, or actually killing themselves. I have seen them. Not one, not two. Much more than that. I was a believer too. Believer of the thought – don’t like it? Is it taking too much? End it! Why suffer?

But then I grew up a little more. And when you do, things change. Perspectives change. Thoughts change. Then I started hating the very idea of killing oneself. That is, suicide. Now it disturbs me beyond limits. Though I am still in favor of euthanasia. Kind of.

Talking about suicides, who am I to write things off like this? Of course, unless it is a college kid who popped too many pills last night, or slit his or her wrist because someone rejected their “love”. No. That kid should be bitch slapped and taught what life is. That can never be acceptable. But then, when one person, one grown up person decides to end this life? Under what circumstances a man can kill his infant, his wife, and himself? Under what circumstances a mother can kill her children? Under what circumstances a well-employed person decides to throw himself off the roof? Life is strange. Some questions can never be answered.

The only point I am trying to  make is to hold on. What I learnt is, life is too big to end like this. Life is like a giant ball with happiness and sorrow painted on its two halves. We need both the halves to make it complete. And the ball keeps rolling all the time. But we, somehow, can control the speed of the ball at which it rotates. When we have the sorrow side, let’s take some effort and make it roll to the other side. I know, I am blabbering too much. I am just trying to say this simple thing – let’s live.

Happy Monday!

Life is the best thriller movie ever made. Or should I say, the best thriller novel ever written! Of course, it gets monotonous at times. But hey – you cannot just flip the pages and see what’s gonna happen tomorrow. Neither can you just fast forward. And you are the hero of your story. When you expect the most, life never fails to disappoint you. Year after year, hope after hope. It destroys you. But you survive, though sometimes you wish you didn’t. And then when you expect nothing from it, life gives you the best gift (A reward?). Out of nowhere. Just like that – that’s the beauty! Then you appreciate. Then you fall in love with life. You have something to look forward to. That anticipation keeps you going. You want to shed the layer of lethargy that you have allowed to grow on you over the time. You see the light at the end of the tunnel. You want to run, run like hell to reach there. You want to touch that. You want to feel that. That is happiness. You want to feel it, now. You are running. You are running out of breath. You are almost there. Then the alarm-clock goes off and you wake up. It’s a Monday!