Monthly Archives: December 2009

A Post-mortem!

Till the time I keep on writing these “immensely valuable” articles, I’ll be grateful to Mr. Bhagat. Because, it’s only after reading him, I realized that I can write. For that matter, all human beings can write. It’s like our “fundamental right”… “Right To Write”! And specially when your target audience is all teens or some 19 point something, you don’t really need to bother much about the plot and story. Just roll some joints and let your mind wander. Organize your thoughts (up to the limit you can), add some spices and you are good to go. Remember this golden rule – sex always acts like icing on the cake; don’t bother about the cake, the icing must be good.

Now, taking examples from his invaluable creations, let me explain why I think I should take up writing more seriously (for that matter, every human being should!).

He first made a grand entry with a catalog of what not to do in an IIT. Tell me, how many of you are IIT grads and how many of you are engineers from institutes other than the IITs? So what if I come up with “What not to do in any engineering college”? I’m pretty sure none of my friends will question my knowledge on what not to do in an engineering college! However, before I start this “project”, I must get a whiter-collar-job and leave this country before they accuse me of leading the young astray (ashtray? 😉 ).

After that the master came up with a story(?) of some BPO executives. Now what if I come up with a story of some KPO executives? That too, I’ll make sure that I have enough sticks to smoke and think even about a proper ending of the story, unlike him who every time just loses the track of it and ends up with an abrupt and absurd finishing!

The third one was the most fail-proof plot EVER for the Indian readers – a mess of Religion, Cricket and Sex! Oh! what a combination, man! But somehow I think that this time either the master took too much grass or he tried something else, because I firmly believe that he wanted to tell us something else and he ended up telling something else. Otherwise, I am sure, he would have never told us a story about 3 guys saving a Kryptonian boy from the communal riots and taking him to Australia to play with the world champs! Whenever I think about Mr. Bhagat sniffing coke while writing about the Australia trip, it leaves me with a smile. After reading this book, I realized that I just made one of the biggest mistakes of my life!

Now, last but not the least – “2 States”. Yesterday, a friend pinged me while I was sitting in front of the computer playing some silly Facebook game (BTW, that’s how I’m preparing for the online CAT). He told me that he had the PDF version of Bhagat’s latest novel, and asked me if I wanted to read. I bluntly said “No”! But after some time when I finally realized that as I have the CAT in 4 day’s time, it’ll be a better idea to read some PDF files than going out on a ride (at least parents will think I’m preparing for the test!). So, I texted the friend back asking to send the PDF. Goodness! After storming through some pages, I could not gather courage to go any further. I gave in; I’d rather stalk people on Facebook.

Anyway, as I was saying – it’s a matter of real disgrace that the ungrateful Indians are still not realizing how a social reformation Mr. Bhagat is initiating. He is encouraging every one of us to write. This way all of us will eventually be busy in writing novels and who knows, we might give birth to some new Jeffry Archers, Dan Browns, Khushwant Singhs or Sidney Sheldons. And if nothing at all happens, we will get at least some more Chetan Bhagats (not that we need)! Imagine a world where people are busy only in reading, writing, smoking weed, drinking vodka, listening to Pink Floyd and having sex…wow!