“Most people would sooner die than think. In fact, they do so” – Bertrand Russel.
I had read somewhere sometime ago that the great Indian govt. is going to ban the prepaid mobiles in Kashmir and the NE region. In fact, they have put the ban in Kashmir starting today, and this morning I read in the local news paper how the Kashmiris are protesting the ban. Their question is, if the govt. is taking so many measures to issue a SIM in these regions, than what is the point in banning it? True. I have something to say on this!
Due to “security reasons”, it took a long time for the mobile phones to ring in the NE region (Only Guwahati had Reliance post paid before that and I do not have knowledge about J&K). Finally it came in the mid 2000s only(no wonder the “mainland” thinks we are so savage and junglis). First it was the monopoly of BSNL, then the same of Airtel. After that, luckily the other companies like Aircell, Vodafone, Reliance, Tata Indicom and now Idea started the competition and the customers are relieved.
But still if you want even a PREPAID connection, you’ll have to wait till someone comes to your place for verification and hands over the SIM. That is not all, they will then send the information to their office and you will have to wait keeping your fingers crossed that it’ll get activated within a couple of days! Nowadays the companies are coming up with policies like “Connection within 4 hours”, but those are still area-wise, and does not cover most part of Assam. Last to last year, I still remember, when I applied for an Airtel SIM, it took 15 freaking days to get the same. I had almost beaten up the guy finally coming to verify and deliver the SIM, who said I had given my address wrongly! Anyways, this is just to get the connection. Now if you go out of Assam, the SIM would not work. That is interesting! And it is the same for the outstation SIMs too. They will stop working once you enter Assam! “Security reasons”, you see! But that is still OK, though it sometimes makes me sick!
Now I want to ask the authorities, what “security reasons” they are actually citing? Do you think you can counter terrorism by denying mobile connections, Mr. Home Minister? And do you think the rest of the India, who issues me an activated prepaid connection within minutes ‘merely’ on the basis of my DL with an address of Assam that works throughout the India except NE and J&K, is not vulnerable to terrorism? If you do, Mr. Minister, I’m sorry, you are a jerk! BTW, Don’t you have any plans to ban the Phone-booths in this region, Mr. Minister? Or maybe, to ban people carrying “mobile phones”? Because who knows, if tomorrow you make the freaking terrorists so desperate, they can even pick me up from any corner of the city and take my mobile phone keeping me on gun-point in the best case scenario! Stop treating us like pigs!
Don’t worry, Mr. Minister, all our Bonojit Hussains have gone out of Guwahati, and the rest of us are either lost in the dreamland Balika Badhu had taken us to or too busy enjoying Rakhi Sawant’s nautankis. It does not matter how many cups of Tata Tea they make us drink in the advertisements, or how many ‘Rang De Basanti’s or ‘A Wednesday’s they make, we won’t wake up. We have already taken too much sedatives from Suraj Barjatyas or B.R Chopras. We have grown up listening stories of Kumbhakaran! The only thing we have learned is to sleep and dominate the fair sex. Our Gods did so! Our God refused to accept his wife because she was abducted by the ‘terrorist’! LOL!! (See, terrorism was even there in that era!) And please put anyone behind the bars who speaks of ‘Bhagat Singh’s or ‘Subhash Bose’s, we never seem to get enough of ‘gaandhigiri’ anyway. Let the Bangladeshis abduct our BSFs, pull out their eyes and chop their bodies into pieces. Let China treat J&K as different country and let them also take away Arunachal Pradesh. Let the most peace-loving neighbor of us send in more Kasabs. Let more and more trains to blast, let more Tajs to burn, let more and more NDFBs to grow, let more ULFAs to grow, let more Parag Das to die, what difference does it make to us anyways? We are happy sleeping. Please do not disturb and please let us use the mobile phone. Will you?